My Bright Blue Eyes
by Soon to be world renown Gracie
Summary: One of the Atlantis boys is hurt severely and the one he leaves behind is plagued with the worst guilt imaginable. SLASH in later chapters. Reloaded after ff took it off.
1. Prologue thingy

Ok, guys, I'm not very happy with this site at the moment. FF took off this story because I had voting involved in it. That's reader interaction. So, I'm trying it again. No votes. Just reviews. I will reply to those reviews I received before this story was taken off at the bottom. I shall write FIVE different endings. Read one, read all, read two, I don't care. Just read, and review. :sighs: I'm very beaten down with FF. I'm sorry all of you who reviewed this before. Please forgive me for "breaking the rules". :begs forgiveness.

Ok, let me explain the chapters really quickly **AND THIS IS IMPORTANT!**

Chapter 1: Main story. Must read.

Chapter 2: Elizabeth as narrator (prologue)

Chapter 3: Rodney as narrator SLASH (prologue)

Chapter 4: Rodney as narrator FRIENDSHIP (prologue)

Chapter 5: Sheppard as narrator SLASH (prologue)

Chapter 6: Beckett as narrator SLASH (prologue)

You people and your slash. :grins slyly: If you want any others, just tell me. I'll see what I can do.

Ok. Now, ok, thanks to everyone who pointed out that Sheppard doesn't have blue eyes. I didn't realize this before, but can't we just pretend? (I swear he has like grey/blue eyes... oh well).

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own Atlantis. I think Sci-Fi does. I'm not sure though. ...nobody trusts me...

...the author's note is longer than the first chapter:gasps loudly:

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There was once a change I didn't take and it burned me to the core. That feeling of 'what if'. I lay awake thinking about what I didn't do–what I wouldn't do–what my fear kept me from doing. If I had taken that chance, would things be different? Would life have gone on though it's stopped now? Would those blue eyes look at me again?

The world seems to have stopped turning for me. Time has stood still for ages–the chance I didn't take mocking me in the darkness, broken only by his blue eyes, calling my name, asking me why I stood there, doing nothing. I see his face, his blue eyes bright, asking me, begging me, but I shut my eyes tightly and ignore the tears making their way down my cheeks. How could I have done that to him? It was risky–just too risky. But he had been willing, his blue eyes sparkling with possibility–I had deemed it too dangerous, I had forbidden it. I thought, foolishly, that if I stayed in my comfort zone, if I didn't allow him to do this, he would be safe, his blue eyes would sparkle forever.

He was my friend and I lost him, because I just couldn't take the risk of losing him. Ironic isn't it? My fear of his welfare caused him to deteriorate. Before my eyes I say him disappear. He faded away by my side, his hand went limp in mine, my salty tears falling on his pale, fragile hand as the light in his eyes was extinguished, leaving them a dull, pale blue. My regret overwhelmed me, my mind never ceasing in its interrogation, "what if?"

What I wouldn't give to see those blue eyes sparkle at me once more. But for now they haunt my darkness, peering at me in accusation–the burden I carry for the risk I never took.

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Like it? I hope so. READ AND REVIEW! That button is the wonderful leader of all the world! BOW TO THE BUTTON!

Review replies:

**MFB:** check out chapters 3 and 4 when I upload them.

**Laheara:** Thank you so much! And that wasn't scarcasm! You gave me pretty much ALL of chapter 4 (ps, I wrote chapter 4 totally for you :glares angrily:) but, oh well! I hope you enjoy this! Look at sgafan33's review for the fragil hand thing. I took your email into consideration when I wrote all of the chapters because you gave me a truely honest reply as to what you thought and I couldn' t ask for a better reviewer!

**TV Chick:** Wow! A compliment on my depth:clutches chest: I thought this day would never come! Thank you so much and check out chapters 3 and 4.

**sgafan33:** You. :sighs deeply: You just haaaad to go and say that it sounded more like Carson, didn't you? You kept me up at night thinking about how I could make it be Carson talking about Rodney. Thus, chapter 6 is all for you. The pale and fragil hand thing again, huh? Well, I just thought that when people die their hand becomes fragil. I don't know though. And what game did you end up playing? Thanks so much for your serious input! I hope you like where I went with this.

**vampiregirl1081:** You got it. Chappy 2.

**moothril:** Odd name...hmm...anyway, thanks. You really like the fact I kept it open ended? You got your wish! Chapter 2. I hope you like what I did with Elizabeth. :hopeful puppy dog look:

**SKRoberts:** Oh...his eye's aren't blue? Oh...sorry...

**ChrissyChick:** You really think it's awesome:jumps up and down in happiness: Rodney, huh? Chapters 3 and 4!

**RobbiP:** You and sgafan33 and anonymouse...you three...you guys are the ones who just HAAAAD to vote outside the pramaters, huh? OK, well, FINE! Chapter 5, man! Hope you like it!

**johnliz4ever:** Now, how did I know that you would vote for Elizabeth:sly grin:

**Balieysmom:** Well, thanks for being honest. I hope you read one of these other chapters, maybe that would make more sense.

**anonymouse:** Chapter 5 is completely for you. You were the one who made me think of chapter 5, therefore, it's totally yours. I hope you like it and thanks so much for your wonderful review! Oh, and...where can I see this cast photo:grins:

**Seth Child Star:** chapters 3 and 4! Thanks for your review!

**Jenn R:** Elizabeth? Sure! And, I'm smiling because of these wonderful reviews-yours expecially!

**kairal95:** deep? beautiful? aw! Thanks! Elizabeth you say? Why of course! Thanks so much!

**webster82:** Thanks! McKay would be chappys 3 and 4! Yours was my first review and I thank you for starting it off so wonderfully!


	2. Elizabeth to Sheppard

Here it is! The second chapter: Elizabeth to John. Wonderful squishiness...well, not really. It's kinda sad. Just FYI. So here you go, all you WeirShep peoples!

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"McKay! You son of a–!"

"Major?"

My stern question stopped Sheppard short of finishing his R-rated tirade. "Doc," he said stiffly, shooting a glance to his left where McKay had disappeared to earlier.

"Problem?" I quirked an eyebrow.

"No, no problem," his eyes darted to the left again.

"Really?" I asked sarcastically.

"Yes, now, if you excuse me," he pushed past me to follow McKay.

I shook my head and turned to follow, wondering what mess I was going to have to mop up this time. An alarm sounded, breaking my concentration and turning my attention to more important matters.

"Lieutenant?" I asked.

Ford looked up at me, "Stargate has activated, but-"

"Shield up," I replied like he was stupid to not have put it up earlier.

"It's too late."

"What the hell is it?"

Ford shrugged, "I don't know, ma'am."

I turned away from Ford to look at the bright blue circle of light. "Get some guards in there, Lieutenant. I don't want this thing getting too far away from where we can control it." He nodded and set off to do as I had told him. "Major Sheppard," I beckoned over the intercom."

"Doc, I'm sorta busy here-"

"Major, something's coming through the Stargate." I looked down from my perch where whatever it was was coming through, "Something big..."

It was out of the Stargate now and I could see it fully. It unfolded itself and towered over everything in the room. Its glowing eyes were looking straight at me. I stood frozen in place.

"Elizabeth, I–woah!" Sheppard stumbled back a few steps.

"Major–don't move." Oh, please don't move, don't let it know you're there. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him start to raise his rifle slowly, carefully. "Major I said don't move," I ordered sternly, praying that he would stop.

"No," he replied casually, as if responding to a question about breakfast. His eyes were bright and they broke my heart–I knew he wouldn't listen to me. He was going to be my hero.

Shots rang out and I ducked instinctively as glass shattered. "Elizabeth!" He was yelling my name? Oh, why was he yelling my name? "Elizabeth, I need your help!"

He needed my help? Why couldn't I move? "Come on, Elizabeth! Move! Now!" I couldn't. I could do no more than watch. The creature moved rapidly and snatched at Sheppard. He was quick, but the Major was a bit faster. Not fast enough, though.

As more shots were fired, this time from ground level, Major Sheppard fell to the deck. I ran to him, grabbed his hand–once so strong, now pale and fragile in the harsh light of Atlantis.

"Oh, John," he was bleeding everywhere, shivering from shock. "Why didn't you go? Why did you move?"

A whisper faintly reached my ears as I looked into his eyes, "Why didn't you?"

The color faded away as the life left the shell. My tears fell onto his limp hand. His eyes were still peering at me and my sobs echoed to the heavens.

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Did you like it? Huh, huh, did ya:waits eagerly for acceptance:

Anyhoozle...Per the suggestion of **sgafan33 **I will put in here who inspired this particular chappy!

**vampiregirl1081**

**moothril**

**johnliz4ever**

**Jenn R**

**kairal95**

For replies to your wonderful reviews, check out the end of chapter one. I have them all there!

Thanks all, and don't forget to **_READ AND REVIEW!_**


	3. McKay to Sheppard

Ok, I saw the Jan. 28th episode the same as everybody else. Defiantly some slashy-ness there. BUT I WON'T WRITE IT! NO! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME:Hands begin to type on their own: Sheppard looked lovingly into McKay's eyes–:Slap:Glares at hands: ...bastards... :Hands give the finger:

Ok, fine. You wished for it, here it is. Slash between McKay and Sheppard. Your wish is my command.

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"Ok, everybody. Keep sharp," Sheppard said as he lifted his P-90 up to sight through it. "Teyla, any ideas?"

"There is a road here, but I have never seen it before. It may lead to the village."

Sheppard shrugged, making his face scrunch up adorably–wait. Did I just say 'adorably'? Well, anyway...

"Ford, take point. I'll follow. McKay, stay with me."

Why was I staying with Sheppard? Like I could do anything. They slapped a pistol in my hand and told me to shoot where the major told me to. At the moment it was holstered uncomfortably to my hip.

"McKay," Sheppard's voice brought me to rigid attention, "Try not to get distracted by anything shiny. We're not here for anymore weird technology."

"First of all, Major," oh no. I couldn't stop myself, "I do not get distracted by 'shiny things' as you so eloquently put it. Second of all, the technology is not 'weird' it's ancient alien technology, and it's helping us stay alive so–"

Shots sounded and all four ducked. "Ford! Teyla! Find cover! Split up, stay in twos!" Sheppard grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the right as Ford and Teyla rushed left. We pushed through the woods, he practically dragging me as I stumbled through the foliage. He stopped suddenly, sliding on the leaves to a halt, shoving me before I was fully stopped. I fell ungracefully against a tree, he crouching in front of me.

"This isn't good, Major," Lord, why couldn't I be quiet? Did I always have to speak?

"Thanks, McKay, I hadn't quite figured that out yet." He aimed his rifle up and around, peering through the scope to see if he could spot anything. He started to rise and I found myself pulling him back down by the waist of his pants.

"What the hell are you doing?" I hissed. God, McKay! Stop talking!

"I'm saving our asses," he grinned at me. No, don't give me that grin, Major. You know I can't resist it!

Gritting my teeth, my grip on his pants tightened, "No, Major. Don't move."

He practically laughed as he tried to remove my hand, "McKay, you can't order me."

"No, but I can try!"

"Shh! Do you WANT to die?" No, but I didn't want him to die. I couldn't stop him though. "Look, McKay, it'll be alright." a shot hit closely and we both jumped, I laughing nervously. "Come on, McKay, let go."

I removed my hand grudgingly, "Major, please–"

"McKay, shut it." He said sternly as he raised his rifle again. He pointed toward a treetop and I looked, trying to see what he did. He started to squeeze the trigger but something jumped from the trees, knocking his rifle from his hands and sending them both somersaulting backwards, "Mckay!" He yelled, grunting, trying to reach his rifle, "Shoot it or something!" He was squirming beneath the huge wraith. He kicked futilely, struggling with the weight of the creature, "Come on, McKay!"

"M-major–"

"McKay, dammit!" He let out a stream of painful curses and I fumbled for my pistol. Why weren't my hands working? 'Lord, help me,' I sent a silent prayer, hoping there was someone there. I felt cool steel in my hands and raised it shakingly. "Shoot it! Shoot the mother–ah! Dammit!"

"Major?"

"Stop getting distracted! Shoot the damn thing!"

"Oh, right." I couldn't pull the trigger. Why couldn't I? I couldn't move, but I had to.

"Come on, Rodney, just point and shoot!" I did.

With a resounding crack, my pistol went off, surprising me and, apparently, the wraith. It turned and looked at me, getting off John and advancing toward me.

John rolled over, grabbed his rifle, and shot the wraith cold.

I stood there in shock, watching the major as he fell back, his rifle resting against his chest. "Dammit, Rodney," he said quietly. I rushed over to his side and grabbed his hand.

"Major?"

He looked up at me, his eyes fading, staring hard at me.

"I'm so sorry, John, so sorry."

He just stared at me, his eyes boring into my soul. Those eyes, piercing and cold, faded before me and his hand no longer squeezed mine. Silent tears began to form. I never got to tell him that I loved him and now it was my fault he was dead.

God forgive me, it was my fault.

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Look! I managed not to say what color Sheppard's eyes were! Was it good? Crap? Should I give up the hope of doing this anymore? Tell me! I want to know! Please!

Here are the wonderful people who inspired this chapter:

**MFB**

**TV Chick**

**ChrissyChick**

**Seth Child Star**

**webster82**


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